Touring to Estonia to Freeze My Eggs Was the Most Empowering Journey I’ve Taken

For Journey + Leisure’s column Touring As, we’re speaking to vacationers about what it’s wish to discover the world by way of their distinctive views. We talked to company social duty director Tess Murphy about her journey to freeze her eggs in Estonia till the time is correct. Right here’s her story… 

Once I was 28, I had simply gotten out of a long-term relationship and a coworker was speaking about egg freezing. She was 36 and mentioned the one factor she wished she’d identified was to do it when she was youthful. I had been excited about it myself, however egg freezing is pricey — about $10,000 to $15,000 within the U.S. — so it is not one thing anybody of their 20s can tackle.  

Plus, I’ve at all times been an avid traveler. I backpacked for 2 years and lived in Africa for six months. I used to be fairly nomadic in nature and led a way of life that wasn’t arrange for a long-term relationship. However once I settled in New York, I began courting and realized motherhood was additional off than I assumed. So, proper earlier than my thirty third birthday, I made a decision to freeze my eggs.

I first reached out to my HR division to see if it was coated by insurance coverage. Some corporations pay for egg freezing, however I discovered mine does not. My gynecologist referred me to a fertility clinic in Manhattan and I went in for testing. They mentioned I used to be a viable candidate and would ship the bill. 

Once I acquired the e-mail, it was a invoice for $12,000. I used to be shocked. I started to consider cost plans. I used to be already paying off my automotive mortgage and making use of for grad colleges on the time — all of it felt too overwhelming.  

Then, I noticed a bit in The New York Instances titled “Have Eggs, Will Journey to Freeze Them,” with three tales of ladies who froze their eggs in Europe, the place it is less expensive.

I began reaching out to European clinics and had consultations with one in Spain, the Czech Republic, and Estonia. You’ll be able to’t analysis your manner into this choice; you actually have to decide on the clinic that feels proper to you. I had a Zoom name with the docs in Estonia — they have been all girls and their heat exuded by way of the display screen.

I wished to pair the journey with a marriage I had in Europe, so I had the session in April and booked the process in June. It was fairly fast — I did not need or want extra time to consider it.

The clinic despatched me a schedule. I’d go on contraception the month earlier than to manage my cycle. Then, I’d must inject myself with medicine for 2 weeks earlier than the process. This included two various kinds of hormone medicine: one within the night and one within the morning to begin just a few days in. The primary dose is timed to the second day of your interval.

For me, that occurred to be the night time of the marriage I used to be attending. It felt surreal to be at this medieval fortress in Scotland, surrounded by my pals. It was one of many final weddings in our buddy group; I already felt the passing of time and that we have been all coming into a brand new part of life. I used to be nervous about beginning this fertility journey, however open-minded. The taboo round this subject is ridiculous. Girls have these very actual points we must always all speak about.

Each nation is totally different, however I had a few week earlier than I wanted to get to Estonia for my first appointment. I spent that point touring to London after which to Finland to go to a buddy. I took the boat from Helsinki to Tallinn for my first appointment, the place they checked out how the follicles have been rising.

The factor the clinic harassed is that the injections must be carried out on the similar time day-after-day. So, you do must sort of drop what you are doing and determine it out. Whereas I used to be touring, the alarm would go off in essentially the most ridiculous locations.

I would be on a prepare touring by way of the countryside from Edinburgh to London and my alarm would go off. The prepare was rocking, however I went to the toilet, cleaned, and injected it. I’d be in a sauna in Finland and I might hear the alarm going off within the locker room. I acquired out and injected myself after which went again into the sauna. I did it on the ferry throughout the Baltic to Estonia. I did it within the lavatory at one in every of Helsinki’s finest eating places, Baskeri & Basso. It didn’t really feel as heavy emotionally as a result of I used to be seeing all these locations. 

On the first appointment, they did an ultrasound and advised me to return again in three days for an additional examination as a result of the eggs must be precisely the appropriate dimension. In the event that they’re too huge, your physique will drop or launch them. You do not need that to occur as a result of they should catch them. 

So, I went off to Pärnu for the Midsummer pageant after which hopped again to Tallinn for an additional ultrasound. They advised me when to take the set off shot, which is normally 12 hours earlier than retrieval — it triggers the eggs to get launched. 

It was useful to have my journey bookended by pals. I began on the wedding ceremony after which went to my finest buddy’s place in Helsinki. My different buddy from faculty additionally flew in and so they threw me an egg going-away get together. I walked right into a courtyard and there was a bottle of Champagne and an egg-shaped cake that learn, “Bon Voyage Eggies.” 

That really made me extra emotional than the egg freezing. It is a recognition of different milestones in life which are price celebrating past the standard moments, like having children or getting married. There are such a lot of different decisions girls make which are price celebrating in the identical manner. 

That mentioned, it was very nerve-wracking. I had no concept what to anticipate. However the second I walked within the clinic, I felt comfortable. I noticed the ladies I noticed on Zoom. Whereas the language barrier was robust, they reassured me. There have been some docs who did not communicate English, in order that they introduced in translators. I requested plenty of questions, in order that was a problem.

General, they made the method really feel regular and low stakes. The process is 20 minutes lengthy. You rise up and depart after. I flew residence the subsequent day. Demystifying that’s so necessary for ladies who’re debating the associated fee, ache, and process. 

The process wound up being about 1,800 euros, plus extra for the medicines and consultations. I in all probability spent a little bit south of $5,000. In New York, I’d have walked away with a invoice within the vary of $13,000 to $15,000. On high of that, the storage is about $1,000 a 12 months within the U.S., whereas it is a few euro a day in Estonia. I am contemplating going again for an additional spherical of freezing since you normally want one to 2 rounds. And customarily, the extra eggs you might have, the higher. 

If and when I’ve a toddler from these eggs, I’ll have extra of a connection to Estonia. Proper now, it simply felt like a blip, virtually like a tooth cleansing. However sooner or later, it could possibly be my youngsters which are saved there.

In the meanwhile, there’s extra life I need to reside earlier than I turn out to be a mom. The fact is I’ve pals who’re mothers and so they haven’t got the identical choices or freedom. I will Oxford to get my MBA. I am 35 proper now, so who is aware of? I might look again once I’m 40, and say, you did not have as a lot time as you thought. However I believe I am going to revisit it in just a few years. 

Journey gives the area and freedom to discover who you’re in a manner that’s unencumbered by expectations. It provides a way of independence. When you open your self as much as the world, the world will open itself again to you, and also you be taught that the issues that appear scary are literally not that scary. 

That is ingrained in egg freezing as nicely — and having these two interlinked is highly effective. I am a agency believer in making choices not rooted in worry, however in what’s going to develop your life in a wealthy manner.

I nonetheless do not know if I need to be a mother. However I do know, like with every thing in life, having choices is empowering. And making a choice based mostly in your needs and desires, as an alternative of what society and your biology tells you, is necessary. 

Girls have an choice and this was me investing in my future me in order that I’ve that alternative once I need to make it, proper once I’m able to.