The final time i traveled to Nigeria, I used to be seven years outdated. It was 1994 and my dad and mom, who had emigrated to the U.S. in the early Nineteen Eighties, had not returned residence since. They had been wanting to introduce their 4 daughters — together with me, their second oldest — to their household.
Within the city of Port Harcourt, the capital of my dad and mom’ residence state of Rivers, my sisters and I had been dropped into the arms of cousins, aunts, uncles, and mates who had been ready years to squeeze, kiss, feed, and spoil us — and in addition introduce us to our “Nigerianness.” My dad and mom had spoken some Igbo to us once I was studying to speak, however I had already misplaced the language. I stared blankly into the eyes of dozens of brown-faced, white-toothed strangers, whereas my older sister, who was nonetheless fluent, translated. “The place are you from?” I used to be requested. “America,” I’d reply, a bit confused. I used to be promptly informed that I used to be not an American, however a baby of Nigeria.
Being in Nigeria could afford me the luxurious of being unapologetically Black, in contrast to within the white areas that I navigate in america. However most of my prolonged household in Nigeria doesn’t know that I’m homosexual. And, in Nigeria, being overtly homosexual is an precise hazard. In 2014, Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan signed the Identical-Intercourse Marriage (Prohibition) Act, and since then, authorities have carried out mass arrests and have appeared the opposite manner as residents commit violence in opposition to Nigerians suspected of being homosexual. Lots of these accused of violating the regulation have been charged with both planning, celebrating, or collaborating in homosexual marriage or just showing queer. The penalty for a conviction is imprisonment for as much as 14 years.
In my early 30s, I moved from the Midwest, the place I used to be born and raised, to New York Metropolis. I used to be each exhausted and excited. I had spent years denying my inventive ardour and my id, however I used to be going to be a author, and in one of many gayest cities within the nation.
Not lengthy after I arrived, I went to the Whitney Museum of American Artwork and walked via “To Wander Decided,” an exhibition of works by Nigerian-American artist Toyin Ojih Odutola. One of many charcoal sketches depicted a scene from the wedding celebration of two males, becoming a member of collectively two fictional aristocratic Nigerian clans. To me, these canvases had been a portal to a world of audacious risk. The little queer child in me was awestruck; the grownup me was radicalized.
About 5 years after that have on the Whitney, I made a decision it was lastly time to return to Nigeria, however alone, and alone phrases. I traveled to Lagos, about 400 miles northwest of my dad and mom’ residence state. With 17.5 million folks, Lagos is each Nigeria’s and Africa’s most populous metropolis. (Lagos was additionally the capital till Abuja was given the title in 1991.) It’s a coastal metropolis, bordered partly by the Gulf of Guinea and a big lagoon that types stretches of scenic seashore.
Lagos is perhaps finest recognized for Afrobeat, the music style pioneered and named by the late Fela Kuti, or because the setting for a lot of “Nollywood” movies. However the metropolis has additionally turn into one among Africa’s main competition locations; it hosts Artwork X Lagos, West Africa’s first worldwide artwork truthful, and Lagos Trend Week, the main occasion of its sort on the continent. It felt like the fitting place to reacquaint myself with the nation and to immerse myself in its inventive scene.
I knew that when I used to be on the bottom, I couldn’t overtly exist as a queer individual. I didn’t understand how that may make me really feel, and I used to be afraid to seek out out. However I knew I wished to see artwork by Nigerians, in Nigeria.
My cousin Ebuka made plans to affix my weeklong journey. I hadn’t seen him since that first go to almost three many years in the past, however I trusted him. (My mom had additionally warned him that if a single hair on my head was damage, there can be hell to pay.)
Ebuka could be very tall and durable, with a smile as large as his face. As quickly as I landed on the airport, and commenced to search for him, I felt I used to be someplace unique and acquainted on the similar time. Nigerian phrases flowed into my ears and out of my mouth as I attempted to choose up the Igbo stream.
Once I stood in entrance of the primary paintings of the journey, I felt whole-body reduction, simply as I had within the Whitney so a few years in the past. Ebuka and I had stopped into Untitled, a gallery that appeared like a shabby concrete dice, however with a colourful sculpture of a butterfly on its exterior. It was Worldwide Ladies’s Day, and the gallery was internet hosting a panel to accompany “Break up,” an exhibition of works by ladies.
One in every of them, Fiyin Koko, was sort sufficient to pose for a photograph with me in entrance of her work I’m Studying and Can You Hear Me? Within the works, two ladies who resembled the artist — however with blue pores and skin and flowing hair, like tendrils of seaweed — are taking part in phone throughout the 2 canvases. Every girl is holding a paper cup to her ear and listening to the opposite, as if the 2 figures are one former and future self.
The piece that had the largest affect on me was Chigozie Obi’s An Open Backyard, which exhibits a younger girl sitting again on her elbows, flipping the chook. Her legs are open to show pink lace panties, and her stomach is revealed underneath a inexperienced crop prime. Inexperienced vines curl round her thighs. In capital letters, the artist had written, in Igbo, “Meche Okpa Gi, I Bu Nwanyi!” This piece scandalized my cousin, however I squealed in delight once I realized I might learn, pronounce, and translate “Shut Your Legs, You’re a Girl!” with out help.
Recollections flooded again of the various instances I used to be informed to hold myself in a fashion that suited my gender and the norms of Nigerian tradition. I laughed to myself, questioning whether or not my dad and mom can be proud to know that their second daughter wasn’t fully ineffective at talking Igbo, or if they’d be mortified to seek out out {that a} sexual show of resistance was the explanation for this linguistic revelation. I determined the reply didn’t matter.
One of the vital notable locations to see artwork in Lagos is the Nike Artwork Gallery, the nation’s largest privately owned gallery. Each inch of the partitions, and lots of inches of the ground, had been lined in work, sketches, sculptures, and blended media, all strewn about with none obvious curation.
We ate plantain beignets with house-made spicy ketchup and a inexperienced salad topped with grilled rooster, locust-bean croutons, and mustard dressing.
It was one of the crucial numerous collections I’d ever seen, with as many kinds as there have been works. I noticed replicas of the kobo, a Nigerian coin that’s not often in circulation. There have been quite a few work of individuals with conventional Nigerian scarves and garments wrapped round their heads and our bodies; the figures had been holding infants, promoting merchandise at markets, smiling, crying, laughing. Some physique elements, like eyes, butts, and bellies, had been exaggerated into absurdist types. Some items had been monochrome, executed completely in yellows and blues; others exploded with a number of colours.
Ebuka and I additionally stopped on the Tiwani Modern Gallery, an outpost of the London artwork home that’s recognized for showcasing African artists and people of African descent. The Yoruba phrase tiwani loosely interprets to “it belongs to us.” (In Lagos, a lot of the inhabitants speaks Yoruba.) The brand new location had opened the month earlier than I visited, and British-Nigerian artist Pleasure Labinjo’s “Full Floor” had been chosen because the opening exhibition. Labinjo had made a sequence of nude self-portraits, remodeling cellphone selfies into large-scale work that stuffed the room’s white partitions, reaching towards the tall ceilings. Each curve, roll, and “imperfection” of her physique was contained within the body: nothing was airbrushed.
The present jogged my memory of a dialog I’d heard again at my resort, Bogobiri Home. The property, within the posh Iyoki neighborhood, additionally hosts occasions at its adjoining artwork gallery. I’d been capable of attend one earlier within the week, the place Tola Akerele, an inside designer and Bogobiri’s co-owner, had mentioned: “Put it on the market, consider in your self. You gained’t be happy should you don’t convey out what’s within you.”
I additionally made time to eat. Quite a bit. In Lagos, vacationers can eat at fast-food joints that serve conventional dishes cafeteria-style. They’ll additionally eat at modern bistros that serve espresso martinis or at eating places with prix fixe menus that includes high-concept Nigerian delicacies. I did a mixture of all three.
Ebuka and I had brunch at Calabar Aroma, an off-the-cuff spot within the Lekki Leisure neighborhood that serves staples like jollof rice and goat or white rice and tomato stew. At Atmosphère Rooftop, one other Lekki bar and restaurant, we had a complete catfish, grilled and garnished with peppers, onions, and greens. Later within the journey, I used to be delighted to seek out ofe, a soup that’s normally paired with a smooth starch like cassava or plantains to assist sop up the broth. I all the time select my favourite: pounded yam.
One in every of our standout meals was at Nok by Alara, a restaurant and life-style boutique that’s additionally in Lekki. We ate plantain beignets — no actual Nigerian restaurant’s menu is full with out plantains — with house-made spicy ketchup and a inexperienced salad topped with grilled rooster, locust-bean croutons, and mustard dressing. The principle dish was “orange fish,” a deep-sea perch laid on a tomato-based spicy curry and topped with fried spaghetti.
One evening, Ebuka and I capped off our day at Sailors Lounge, a two-story waterside bar with a large terrace adorned with string lights. A waitress in (what else?) a sailor’s uniform served us goat meat and blended peppers, plus giant pints of Heineken and Orijin, a blended drink of African herbs, fruits, and spirits. We toasted, searching on the lights of the town under.
A number of days earlier than the top of the journey, I started to really feel homesick. Not only for my literal residence, however for my unencumbered self: my womanhood, my queerness, which in Lagos couldn’t be overtly proven. I used to be craving solitude. Once I walked into Artwork Twenty One, a gallery within the high-end neighborhood of Victoria Island, I used to be happy to seek out it empty, apart from one staffer.
Nigerian mixed-media artist Olu Amoda’s solo present, “Carte Blanche,” was on show. Round sculptures manufactured from items of scrap metallic appeared to stare down at me from the white partitions. In a separate room was a sculpture of two giant metallic circles related by a skinny purple thread; one held on the wall, whereas the opposite lay on the ground. Strewn round had been lifeless leaves, blended with champagne corks. Extra purple threads had been bleeding into the leaves, interwoven with metallic cutouts of beasts and birds.
I couldn’t assist associating the purple threads with blood or, somewhat, bloodlines. I contemplated the distinction between my American upbringing and my estranged relationship to this homeland, a relationship that had all the time felt as delicate and skinny as these threads. It was troublesome to start out the method of (possibly) falling in love with this nation when there have been so many obstacles to creating and sustaining a wholesome connection.
At this level, I used to be simply starting to worth myself as a lady, a queer individual, and a author. Being within the closet, at the very least in Lagos, appeared a small sacrifice in contrast with among the realities that Nigerians face. I felt an uncomfortable privilege, one which my dad and mom had usually identified to my sisters and me once we had been rising up. They shamed us for complaining about freedoms — of expression, of id — when for our Nigerian household, electrical energy and water weren’t all the time certainties.
I didn’t know what my life was going to appear like over the following few years, however I knew what I wanted — and it was to be lifted by, and immersed in, as a lot artwork as I might soak up.
I spent a part of my final day strolling alongside the seashore in Lekki Leisure, a serene getaway from the push of the town, with Ebuka and his fiancée, Berta. We watched different beachgoers sunning on recliners in cabanas, and I paid for a guided horseback trip.
That evening, I splurged on an eight-course meal at Ìtàn Check Kitchen — ìtàn is Yoruba for “story.” (The restaurant closed in July when the constructing was bought; chef Michael Elégbèdé is searching for a brand new location.) A dozen diners sat collectively at a picket desk formed like a tree. I appeared round at my tablemates, all wearing good clothes: brown leather-based suspenders, gator-skin flats. It might have been a scene from New York, however it was additionally distinctly Nigerian.
Every course had a theme comparable to a distinct Nigerian competition, like Agemo, which celebrates youngsters. The dishes had been beautiful: inside an empty snail shell sat a chunk of frivolously battered yam, with black fermented locust beans molded into the form of fish roe. One other plate had fried mackerel topped with spicy peppers.
As I sipped my wine, my thoughts drifted to a gathering I’d had earlier that day with a queer photographer named Ade. We met for a beer and suya — skewers of closely seasoned beef or rooster — and it was by far my favourite a part of the journey. We each had been very conscious of our environment; each minute or so, we appeared over our shoulders to verify nobody was us for too lengthy.
Ade informed me he was nonetheless residing together with his dad and mom, and regardless that he hadn’t come out to them, he was fairly positive that his mom and father knew he was homosexual. Once I shared my story of popping out to my equally conventional Nigerian dad and mom, he visibly winced. Ade had spent the primary years of his twenties constructing a profession as a photographer, and he hoped to earn a scholarship to maneuver to New York Metropolis. As we mentioned goodbye, I needed him luck find the type of freedom I’d been experiencing just lately. No different moments in my journey had been as candy as that one hour I spent with him. It underscored my want for — and my proper to — residing as freely, and as queerly, as I can.
I by no means thought my return to Nigeria can be one among assertion, energy, and self-love. This stuff had been completely anathema to what my dad and mom’ residence nation had lengthy represented for me. By taking in these artworks, I recovered a spark of affection for a spot I’ve all the time been afraid of. There was a lot vitality, I discovered, and a lot dedication for a superb life.
The place to Keep
Bogobiri Home
The 16-room Bogobiri Home resort is a gathering spot for the Ikoyi neighborhood’s inventive set.
16×16
Every of the ten rooms at this Victoria Island property was designed by a distinct artist.
The place to Eat and Drink
Calabar Aroma
Head to the low-key Calabar Aroma for conventional Nigerian delicacies.
Nok by Alara
Nok by Alara is a up to date African restaurant helmed by Senegalese-born chef Pierre Thiam.
Atmosphère Rooftop
Be a part of Lekki Seashore residents for alfresco drinks lengthy after darkish.
Sailors Lounge
Anticipate a pulsing cocktail bar with views of Lagos Lagoon at Sailors Lounge.
What to Do
Artwork Twenty One
Catch solo exhibitions by distinguished figures, like multi-disciplinary artist Tejumola Butler Adenuga, at the Victoria Island house, Artwork Twenty One.
Nike Artwork Gallery
Nike Artwork Gallery, the nation’s largest privately owned gallery, is a part of the Nike Artwork Basis, established by textile artist Nike Monica Okundaye.
Tiwani Modern
An outpost of the London flagship, the Tiwani Modern gallery spotlights artists from throughout the African diaspora.
Untitled
Untitled, an Ikoyi gallery and occasion house, usually invitations makers to offer studio classes and talks.
A model of this story first appeared within the October 2024 subject of Journey + Leisure underneath the headline “Lagos Rising”